#holy crap that's butter

[tswwwit]

I'm very curious (you don't have to take this seriously if you don't want to) but how exactly would Bill find out about how bad OG!Bill is doing? Like, is there an interdimensional bookstore that sells this book? When he's getting his bi-monthly demon gossip magazine at this shop does he just see that book there and double-takes? What's happening there? And what is Dipper's reaction?

I'm not sure if Familiar Bill learns about it through the book, but let's think about that!

Since the book displays differently for everyone - I imagine Familiar!Bill just gets dozens of pages of 'LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT' until he claps the thing shut.

Showing Dipper doesn't have much better effects; he just gets the ol' 'PUT JALAPENO PEPPERS IN YOUR EYES' treatment.

Once you put the book aside - I figure Bill finds out through the regular interdimensional rumor mill. Whispers along that strange network of various versions of oneself, carrying mentions of the strange twists and turns of fate.

That day has has Dipper wondering why Bill took one look at his phone, blanched, then started being waaaay too affectionate.

[butterbunbun]

RAHHH GAINED 5 POUNDS THIS WEEK TIME TO CHANGE MY BLOG DESCRIPTION

[honeysuckle-venom]

I am currently attempting to make vegan bolognese (mushrooms, walnuts, and lentils in place of meat). It smells pretty good so far, but I won't know for a while. I really hope it turns out well.

[pinkdinkydoon]

If Vic Chaos has a million fans, then I'm one of them.

If Vic Chaos has one fan, then I'm THAT ONE.

If Vic Chaos, has no fans, that means I'm dead.

If the world is against Vic Chaos, then I am against the world.

[me-in-my-autumnsweater]

i can’t believe it’s butter

Caroline Shawk Brooks (1840–1913) — also known as “The Butter Woman” or the “Centennial Butter Sculptress” — was famous for her sculptures fashioned entirely out of…. yes, butter. More here: https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/the-butter-sculptures-of-caroline-s-brooks

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

Ok we clown Jaime Lannister a lot (and for good reason). BUT holy crap, the absolute insanity of him cutting through Robb’s knights like they were made of butter screaming “STARK IM COMING FOR YOU” at the top of his lungs. The only reason he never got to Robb was because he slipped on the friggin mud. Literally y’all’s faves could never. I know Robb was shitting bricks.

[koboldfactory]

Have you tried the pill swallowing method where you knock on the side of your face (like on a door) constantly while you chug water? Something about it keeps part of your brain distracted so that "I'm going to choke on this thing in my mouth" voice will shut up long enough to take the damn spiro. It's been life changing as someone that has to take a lot of oral meds and used to have to take *every* pill in peanut butter no matter how tiny.

holy crap this worked??? huh i did not expect that

[serpentsillusion]

||Tiny, but mighty.||✨💪✨

How I would have imagined my MC handling the situation about being confronted by Victor Rookwood and Harlow when she was in hogsmeade for the first time with Sebastian. (Stranger Danger) 🚫🙅🏻‍♀️ maybe a little humorous, I hope. 😂

Mild language warning and potential PTSD trigger, physical violence ⚠️

*Sebastian and MC nervously enter the three broomsticks, sitting down at the bar talking with Sirona about the troll attack.*

Sirona: Trolls in hogsmeade? Hmmm something's not right...the only brutes we usually have to deal with are...

Victor Rookwood: *aggressively opens doors* (grunts)

Sirona:  hmph, how timely.. *walks around the bar counter*

Victor Rookwood: Was that Lodgok I saw leaving just now? Hmph, your clientel's not what it used to be. Sirona.

Sirona: Not to worry. Victor. Once the two of you leave, the caliber of my clientele will greatly improve.

Sebastian: *glaces over at MC sneakily, while she drinks her mug of butter beer*

Harlow: *takes his wand out assertively**giving mad stank face*

Sirona: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Theophilus.

Victor Rookwood: Come now. No need for theatrics... I'm only here for this one anyway. *Looks over and points to MC*

MC: *chugs down the rest of her butterbeer slamming it on the counter, burps and then cracks knuckles* *gets up slowly to face Rookwood and Harlow*

Sirona: My friend is enjoying a well-earned butterbeer.

Victor Rookwood: Only want a quick word.. *VERY quickly approaches MC*

MC, (panics): *Punches Victor Rookwood square in the face, causing him to fall backwards knocking him flat on the floor. Unconscious.*

MC: How's that for theatrics? *Sharply glaring at Harlow* You wanna come at me too?

Harlow: *backs away with his hands up* No thanks, I'm good.

Sirona: OMG

Sebastian,(to himself): holy shit! I think I'm in love.

*Harlow leaves the three broomsticks quickly as MC shakes out her right hand because that mf hurt.*

Sirona: Where did you learn how to do that?!😱

MC: M-my father...

Sebastian, (still in shock): HOLY CRAP MC! THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!! So.. when can I meet him? 💕

MC: What? 🤨

Sebastian: What? 😐

✨✨✨✨✨🐍✨✨✨✨✨✨

That scene in particular made me realize again how important it is to stay safe! And don't talk to strangers! 🤣 "Stay strapped or get clapped" said pooh.

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for ducksandswans behind the cut; Jason gets knocked up and accidentally goes home about it. ( chrono || non-chrono )

Jason tightens his grip on Pup Brother and Quiet Sister tightens her grip on him. He can smell the whole pack's scents–smell the whole pack's packscent–and he feels . . . good about that. He likes that. 

He missed them. He shouldn't have stayed gone so long. Though now there's a pup, and maybe even more than one, so he supposes it was worth it. 

And either way, he's home now. 

Grandpa said. 

“ETA on B?” Big Brother asks. 

“Eighteen minutes, if they avoided the downtown traffic,” Big Brother’s mate says. Jason hums acknowledgment, then lets himself relax just a little more. More than he even thought he could, really. 

It's nice. 

It's really nice. 

And they're all safe, too. 

“Holy crap, is he purring?” New Brother mutters under his breath. 

“He is definitely purring,” Loud Sister confirms. “Like a big grumpy motorcycle.” 

“Pretty sure I've heard quieter motorcycles,” Big Brother's mate says wryly. “It's pretty cute, though.” 

“It is so cute, oh my god,” Big Brother says in despairing delight. “This is bad enough, how are we gonna handle him being like this with an actual baby?” 

“I think that's mostly a ‘you’ problem, Dick,” Little Brother says. 

“That is definitely a ‘you’ problem,” Loud Sister agrees. 

“For sure,” New Brother says. 

“Very cute,” Quiet Sister hums, nuzzling the back of Jason’s neck and patting his shoulder. “Baby brother.” 

“Thank you, Cass,” Big Brother says with a huff, folding his arms. “This is so adorable I can’t even stand it.” 

Jason huffs, rolling his eyes, then just settles in and closes his eyes. It’s safe to. And he has a nest to let his scent seep into and through, and “bred” pheromones to let settle into and fill up the den. He’s early enough in his pregnancy that it’ll probably take a little while, so it’s past time to concentrate on putting those off and scenting the room. The nest’s all made, and Pup Brother and Quiet Sister are in it, and Grandpa’s by the door and Big Brother and Little Brother are just outside the nest, and Loud Sister and New Brother and Big Brother’s mate are all here too, so . . . 

So once Alpha’s here, then everything will be perfect. 

“He’s purring again,” New Brother mutters. “I literally did not even know he was physically capable of making that sound.” 

“Capable of making it to motorcycle-shaming levels, apparently,” Loud Sister says with a laugh. “Damn, Jason.” 

Jason doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but he isn’t worried about it. If it’s important, someone will take care of it. 

Everyone’s here, so of course someone will. 

“Silence, all of you,” Pup Brother grumbles, sounding long-suffering but staying settled secure in Jason’s arms, which is good. Definitely. He should be there right now. 

Jason nuzzles him some more, for obvious reasons, and then just concentrates on letting his pheromones spread through the room. His nest already smells like the pack and so does the den, obviously, but it doesn’t smell like pup-is-coming.

It needs to, obviously. 

Someone’s purring. It’s not Pup Brother, but Jason’s not sure who else could be. 

Well, it doesn’t matter, really. 

Some of the others talk about some things, their voices soft and quiet. Jason doesn’t worry about it. It’s just little stuff, like patrol schedules and classes and appointments. Normal little things for a pack to talk about, and easy to settle into the background as white noise while he lets his pheromones fill up the room and makes sure Pup Brother’s eaten. 

He eats some of the apple slices and peanut butter, himself. The pup needs to eat too. 

It’s the same cheap, shitty store brand that he used to insist on as a pup himself. 

“ETA five minutes,” Big Brother’s mate says eventually after checking her phone. Jason’s not sure what she’s talking about, but isn’t worried about that either. If it’s important, someone will tell him. Or handle it. Or both. 

All he has to do right now is wait for Alpha to get here, and then everything will be fine. 

Everything will be perfect, actually, once Alpha gets here. 

The others talk a little more. Their voices are still soft and quiet, so Jason still doesn’t worry about it. He just stays curled up around Pup Brother and in Quiet Sister’s arms, and letting his pheromones fill up the den with bred and home-safe and all the usual things that are usually part of presenting a pup to the pack. 

It’s nice. The . . . being here. It’s nice. 

He missed it here. 

He wonders why he missed it so bad. Has it been that long, or . . . ? 

He just missed it. 

But now he’s here, so he doesn’t have to miss it anymore. 

Grandpa turns his head towards the door and pushes himself up out of his chair. Jason whines in disappointment. Is he leaving? Why’s he leaving? 

“I’ll just be a moment, my boy,” Grandpa assures him, and Jason settles, a little. If Grandpa says it’ll be just a moment, then he means it. 

Grandpa steps out into the foyer again and everyone else goes quiet all at once, and Jason realizes–oh. The front door just opened, didn’t it. He doesn’t hear footsteps, though. 

. . . does that mean . . . ? 

“Alfred?” Alpha says from the foyer, sounding just barely concerned, and something in Jason vibrates at the sound of his voice. “What’s going on?” 

“Is someone purring?” Alpha’s mate asks curiously. 

“Master Jason came home, Master Bruce,” Grandpa says. 

“. . . he what?” Alpha says, his voice sounding–strange, just a bit. Jason isn’t sure why it does, but feels . . . 

“Just–the living room, Master Bruce,” Grandpa says. “You should come and see for yourself.” 

Grandpa steps back into view of the doorway, and Jason still feels unsettled and just a little bit uncertain, and isn’t sure if–

Then Alpha steps into view too, and Jason forgets everything else

[yawurstnightmare]

Your cooking skills are really impressive. You definitely should try to cook more things :)

Here’s a recipe if you want to try (try if no one on base is allergic to nuts)

peanut butter - 1 cup

Sugar - 1/2 cup

Large egg - 1

Preheat an oven to 325

Mix them into a fine dough and make little 1inch balls that you squish down on a baking sheet into rough cookie shapes. Put in oven for around ten minutes and let stand to cool off for another ten minutes.

If you can make clam chowder I’m sure you can get this. (This recipe with added chocolate frosting is what I make my mom every mother day and birthday)

DESE ARE SO GOOD HOLY CRAP

I sorta didn't know if we had any baking sheets around so I just used some a dat non-stick spray. I wish I had some chocolate frosting ta put on dem like you said you do, that must make dem even BETTA!!

[z0mbi3k1d]

Romanticizing life Part 4

Food ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

This is just gonna be abt healthy food swaps and things different foods can do for you, I'm not promoting Ed at all!!

Note‼️‼️

Only do these if you want to, you should enjoy your life. That means don't do food swaps all the time, treat yourself! To be honest I probably won't do any of these because I'm happy with my body and don't have too, you should be happy with yourself too!

Eating Healthy 🍓

It is important to eat healthy! It can do lots for your body, skin, and mood, I'm going to give you some healthy food swaps and tasty snacks to help!

Toxic things to get out of your head 🐇

Before I'm going to share these it's important to me that you don't use this unhealthy, stop telling yourself these things

"I need to eat healthy to loose weight"

No, you don't. All bodies are shaped different and process food differently, allergies for example. Not everyone has allergies so what makes you think everyone processes all food the same? You can still be healthy without 'looking healthy'

"I'll only eat for energy, not taste"

Man just enjoy your life 😭 I see ppl say this a lot but it doesn't make sense. Break your shell and try more foods and flavors, enjoy yourself

"I have to look like them"

Nuh uh! You're hotter 💋

Remember if you wouldn't say it to a bunny DO NOT SAY IT TO YOUR SELF‼️‼️

Food swaps 🍡

Here's some food swaps for you!

Sugary cereal ~ Oats with fruit

Ice cream ~ acai bowl

Coffee ~ matcha/Chai

Chips ~ Popcorn

White bread ~ sourdough

My personal favorite healthy foods 🧁

I'd consider myself a pretty picky eater so when it comes to healthy foods this is what I eat

I love all fruits strawberries, blueberries, bananas ect. Fruits are great bc you can do lots with them, you can make smoothies, put them in yogurt or just eat them normally

Peanut butter, okay so I'm not a huge fan but there's a lot you can do with peanut butter and you an make really healthy stuff with it

Granola, guys granola is soooo good I used to eat the bars and they had honey on them too it was so good

Honey is also good but yk

Hummus.. Lowkey feel like a nerd for saying I like it but I do. If you wanna be healthy with it you could use cucumbers!

Cucumbers>>> squash (I hate squash it's so disgusting :p)

Tuna, it has like Idk it's good for you in some ways I wasn't really listening to my father when he was talking abt it

I love nuts!! I think they're a good quick snack

I'd you don't like water get some of the flavors things, they have energy and low cal ones

Apparently dark chocolate is gold for you too sooo

Salmon is also healthy hehe >:)

Chia seeds barley taste like anything so put them in your yogurt or something

TEA TEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD

Things foods can do for you 🍮

Idk how much of this is true but I'm not gonna gatekeep just in case

Dark chocolate can

Holy crap apparently it can protect against UV rays?? 😭😭

It fights tooth decay

And it's a brain food

More brain food

Nuts

Avocados

Eggs

Chia seeds

Fruits

I'm telling you fruits are good for anything and they're sweet!!! They are perfect!!! (If you don't like fruit consider yourself an opp)

Thanks for reading!! 🩷🩷

Thanks for reading!! Have a great day, remember to eat what you want and stay happy!! I love you my sweet angels!! 🩷🩷

[littlelioncub43]

Ok for murderer Monday 😶‍🌫️

Imagine being softdark!Lee's little housewife and getting your period and he gets soooooo protective of you esp. in public and when you're both alone and you're in pain and he's heard that pleasure can fix that sooooo....

AaaaAAAAAAH YES. It's been so long since I wrote for Lee. I need more Lee thots hehe

Home Remedies

Summary: When your period comes with a vengeance, Lee is quick to dote on you. But when the regular methods of pain relief seem to be failing you, Lee suggests another way to make you feel better.

Pairing: soft dark!Lee Bodecker x fem!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI), fluff, fingering (f receiving), pet names (princess, baby doll, baby, nothing crazy), period sex, bleeding (obvi), Lee being Lee which is naturally darker but still very loving, brief mentions of force feeding, dry humping, Lee coming in his pants, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Word count: idk, I wrote this on my phone.

A/N: Holy crap, I accidentally wrote a fic! Look at me go! This was supposed to be short but it turned out to be a full length fic! I'm honestly so surprised and proud of myself. I hope you enjoy it! Hehe let me know how you feel! Comments and reblogs are always welcome! 💖

Kisses 💋

—K

Lee made it a point to track your cycle, it made life easier for the both of you. He knew when your attitude was less than agreeable that your monthly was just round the corner, which helped him keep a level head most of the time. He knew when you'd burst into tears because you were out of lemons and he forgot to pick them up from the store, that your monthly was approaching. As much as it drove him up the walls to have you all over the place, he knew there was no avoiding it. Just as there was no avoiding the itch deep inside him to watch over you.

On a good day, Lee had a hard time leaving you at home by yourself. The worry that someone might break in, or something might happen while he's gone lived permanently in the back of his head. No matter how many times that you tell him that you're more than capable of taking care of yourself, Lee had a hard time buying it. He just wants to make sure you're safe, that's all.

So when you're curled up in bed way past the time you normally get up, that need to hover around you comes back full swing. You were certain there was a knife in your abdomen, and it was slowly but surely cutting its way through your insides. You were flushed hot, but felt annoyingly chilly at the same time. After 20 minutes of wrestling with the blankets you found a position that didn't hurt.

"Babydoll?" You hear Lee's groggy voice laced with concern from behind you. "You feelin' ok?"

"Cramps," is all you could say through the discomfort. Lee clocked the pained whine in your voice and the waves of tension that radiated off of you immediately.

"Period come early, or your tummy?" He sat up and rubbed his eyes, ready to get whatever you needed.

"Period," you grumble softly. He grunts in acknowledgement and makes his way towards the medicine cabinet, grabbing the painkillers and a cool washcloth for your forehead, he could feel the heat emanating from you.

"Here you go, honey," he whispers as he hands you the two pills and the glass of water you keep by your bedside. You swallow them down with some effort, the water settling in your stomach makes you nauseated.

"Thanks," you sigh as he sets the half empty cup down and eases the damp washcloth across your heated skin.

"Y'welcome," he whispers and mozies his way downstairs, ready to call Ida at the station to tell her that he won't be in today. He comes back to bed less than 10 minutes later, lightly buttered toast and a small plate of fruit in hand. You sigh when you see the food, knowing that it's a lot easier to just eat the food rather than argue with him about it. Last time you did, he sat there and basically forced the slices if oranges down your throat. Lesson learned.

Once Lee was satisfied with the amount of food you'd eaten, he tucked you back into bed, this time setting a red towel beneath you to catch any excess blood.

"There you go," he presses a kiss to your face and straightens up, "if y'need anythin', you tell me, alright?"

"I will, honey, thank you," you smile up at him softly. While he still was the rough and burly sheriff of Knockemstiff, you couldn't deny the fact that he loved you to pieces. He gave you that boyish smile that he knows you love so much, and went about his way.

Your little nap lasted for about an hour before the cramps came back with a vengeance. The dull ache was now replaced with piercing pains that shot through you. Deep groans pulled their way from your throat as you writhe in your spot, unwanting to move too much.

"What's the matter?" a concerned Lee ask from the door, your pained groans having alerted him. Unable to answer him, he crosses the room to sit on the edge of the bed next to you, still in his pajama pants and undershirt. "Is it bad? Want more pills?"

"N-Nooo," you whimper with a shake of your head, you knew they'd do nothing to quell the pain in your abdomen.

"What do you need, honey? Tell me," he sighs softly, his face pinched in pain, mirroring your own grimace. Seeing you like this definitely did a number on him. "Hm?"

"Don't know," you mumble, frustrated that you have no clue what could possibly make this better.

"Wanna try something? I heard it's supposed t'help make everything better," he says, a playful yet caring glint in his eye. He can tell he has your attention now, that you're just desperate enough to want relief no matter how you got it. "They say that gettin' off helps relax the muscles that are crampin', helps you relax. Don't that sound nice?"

Lee tucks a strand of your hair behind your head, smiling when you nuzzle into his palm on instinct. He read about it months ago and was just waiting for the opportunity to put it to the test. Now all he has to do is get you to agree, which he knows is going to be a piece of cake. He watches as you chew over his proposition.

"Gettin' off?" You ask softly, looking up at your husband.

"Yes, babydoll," he leans in closer with a soft nod, slowly but surely moving to hover over you, "gettin' you off... makin' you finish."

It's second nature to spread your thighs for Lee, your body welcoming his own as he cages you in underneath him. You could see the predatory gleam in his eye as he watched you, waiting patiently for your answer. You knew that this was partly for his own pleasure, but the saccharine promise of relief from the pain was enough for you.

"Ok," you nod, your arms moving to lazily sling around his broad shoulders. Lee gives you that pleased smirk that sends butterflies fluttering through your tummy, a welcomed contrast to the shooting jabs and dull aches.

"Alright," he purrs, clearly pleased with your answer, and lowers his body down to yours carefully. You whine softly at the pressure, but he's quick to shush you gently. "It's ok, babydoll, it's alright. Jus' let me take care of everythin', and you be a good girl and relax, hm? All you gotta do is feel good."

He whispers his loving promises into your skin as he peppers tender kisses along your jaw, making his way to your lips. You both let out a shared moan of relief when your lips finally slot together. The slow movements of Lee's unfairly large hands pull your mind away from the discomfort you feel, the further south they travel the heavier you breathe.

"L-Lee," you moan into his mouth when he gently cups your sex, his hooded eyes trained on your face as he holds you in his palm, the heat from your core drove him fucking crazy. He groans softly as he begins to pet you, stroking your mound in slow motions, careful not to push too hard. Your eyes stay shut as small little whimpers of pleasure fall from your lips. The feeling of his hand rubbing your sensitive parts has a mixture of arousal and blood gushing out of you, just for Lee to feel.

"That's it, babygirl," he groans, letting his own eyes shut for a moment to just feel the growing wetness of your cunt through your panties. The small sparks of pleasure are soon not enough anymore, and you try to tell him with a gentle nudge of your hips. "Wan' more already?"

"Uh-huh," you nod, ignoring the teasing lilt to his voice. He gives your lips another peck before he's peeling off your panties and discarding them to the floor.

"So wet for me, aren't ya, Sweetheart? Always so wet," he coos as his thick fingers glide easily through your petals. Lee bites his lip when he smells the metalic scent of your blood mixing with the tang of your arousal— he could get used to this.

"Oh my god," you sigh and grip his white undershirt in your fists, your head lolling to the side as he circles your clit in slow, precise movements. You were so fucking sensitive, it was nearly overwhelming. The gentle touches left you burning for more and breathless, then you had Lee above you, watching your every expression with his own hungry gaze, and speaking in that thick drawl— it was dizzying.

"Oh, fuck!" You whimper as a thick finger fills you slowly, your back arches off the bed on instinct. The deep grunt that leaves Lee has you clamping down around his forefinger, his thumb replacing his finger on your clit. Lee was certain he's never been this hard in his life than he is right now, watching you lose yourself to the pleasure he's providing. His cock flexes against your inner thigh as he pumps his finger in and out of you at a sluggish pace.

"There you go, baby, there you go," he rasps under his breath, his eyes drinking in every little expression you make. The way your nose scrunches, how your eyebrows furrow together when he touches that special spot inside you, the way your gorgeous lips stay parted to let those beautiful moans flow freely. "So fucking beautiful, y'know that? Make me so crazy for ya, Princess, can't get enough a'you, never get enough."

The stretch of another finger joining his first has your hips trying to rut, chasing the pleasure, but Lee's heavy frame keeps you in your spot. He speeds up ever so slightly, the sound of his fingers sinking into your sopping cunt over and over fill the room.

"Oh fuck, y'hear that? Hear how wet you are?" Lee growls, the slick sounds being his undoing. His fingers speed up, keeping their pressure light as he stretches you out. You gasp and moan as the pleasure builds, the tension growing in your lower tummy draws tighter and tighter with each swipe of his thumb against your clit.

"Lee, m'gonna cum!" You gasp and toss your head back, your legs squirming as he works you closer and closer to your high.

"Yeah? Y'gonna cum on my fingers, baby? Gonna make a fucking mess?" His voice is rough, his own hips beginning to rut, humping himself against your thigh for some relief. The act alone sends you shooting higher ans higher towards your crest. "C'mon, honey, I want you t'come for me."

You didn't stand a chance.

"Lee!" You cry out as you finish, your body thrashing as waves of bliss crash down over you again and again. You can hear Lee's pleased grunts in your ear as you clench down around his fingers, his thumb working you through your high. A rush of wetness seeps from your core, coating Lee's hand and dripping down your skin to the towel. It's not long until you feel his covered cock throbbing wildly against you.

"F-Fuck!" He curses harshly as his own end catches up to him, soaking his boxers and pajama pants. Throaty groans resonate through his chest as he rocks against you to milk his high as long as possible. Heavy breaths replace the moans that filled the shared bedroom. Peeling your eyes open, you gaze up at the ceiling as you try to catch your breath.

Lee sighs and pulls himself from the comfort of your shoulder to look down at you with a soft smile. His face flushed pink and sweat beads his forehead from your activities and shared body heat and you can't help but beam up at him with that same lovesick smile you give him.

"How're y'feelin', Princess, any better?" He asks in a breathless voice. You giggle softly and relax your grip on his shirt to smooth out the wrinkles you left.

"I forgot that's what this was for," you admit bashfully, making him chuckle with you.

"Well, good, then I did my job right."

"You always do, Sheriff Bodecker," you coo and give him a kiss, already feeling more like yourself. Lee groans into the kiss at the title.

"You're a little minx," he whispers in between another kiss before propping himself up on his forearm, giving his attention to his fingers still buried in your cunt. "Fuuuuck me," he groans when he sees the mess you made. A thin layer of blood coats your inner thighs and part of his hand, the glisten of your cum recognizable on your lips and his wrist. Slowly, he withdraws from your pussy, watching intensely as his fingers emerge coated in your essence and blood.

The little whimper you give when he leaves you completely empty has his dick stirring in his trousers. Lee sucks in a deep breath as he brings his fingers from between your legs to get a better look.

"Would y'look at that?" He marvels, mostly to himself, as his fingers gleam in the late morning sunshine. Your face heats up at his actions, embarrassment taking hold as he shows you his bloody, cum covered fingers. Lee's eyes are fixed on his digits as he plays with the strings of wetness for a moment before bringing them to his lips. A loud moan vibrates in his chest at your taste, his eyes sliding shut in bliss as he cleans you from his hand. He finally releases them with a pop.

"Fuckin' divine is what you are, Princess. Fuckin' heavenly," he growls, his dick fully hard in his pajama pants as he begins to rut into your thigh again, his eyes dark with hunger again as he quickly unties the drawstring of his pants. "M'gonna fuck ya all fuckin' week, make sure ya don't feel nothin' but pleasure— fuck, m'gonna take care of ya, Princess, I promise."

And he did.

Comments and reblogs are always welcome! Hehe

I no longer have a taglist! If you wish to stay up-to-date on when I post, follow @littlelioncub-library 💖

[blackjackkent]

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, MAJOR DEVELOPMENT that I only FIGURED OUT because I am a FUCKING NERD.

Maybe this is common knowledge in the fandom, but it seems like maybe it might not be, but either way my little nerd brain is so happy right now.

OK, so Hector and co. are wandering around the Emperor's old Knights of the Shield hideout, right? And wandering into the main hidden room, a few (mostly inconsequential-seeming) items cropped up with perception checks which the Emperor had comments about:

Then, on examining a painting on the wall:

And then, an INCREDIBLY INTERESTING LITTLE DETAIL, which triggered when Hector picked up a random spoon on a table:

This sounds like I'm joking, but I'm actually not. This is an INCREDIBLY DEEP CUT Baldur's Gate 1 reference, which I would absolutely not have even picked up on myself if I had not literally JUST looked at part of my BG1 liveblog this morning, because I was revisiting Caden's doppelganger encounters to compare them to Hector's.

The butter knife in question is an item that you can find in Baldur's Gate 1 on the werewolf island. One of the things Caden had to do while shipwrecked there (in between crushing on the local werewolf lady) was break into another old shipwreck which had belonged to Balduran, a legendary explorer and trader who is the namesake of the city of Baldur's Gate.

And within that shipwreck, guess what Caden found?

Incredible. Holy shit.

The Emperor was fucking BALDURAN before he got mind-flayered????????

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELL THAT IS A MAJOR DEVELOPMENT

I fucking love that this is just randomly slotted in here to reward anyone who happened to pick up on the connection and just blow the case wide open. And I love that it's secreted in here among a bunch of other similarly inconsequential-seeming stuff so that it would seem completely unimportant to anyone who didn't make the leap.

This game is so good. And I am a huge nerd and enjoying this so much holy crap.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Just found ur story today and it is so good??? Thank you for the meal. The scene where butters ran away from Kenny? Almost had me in tears. Now I must go study Japanese and pretend this wasn’t life changing

AGFSHGFJSHAJF?????????????????????????????? OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH

YOU FOUND IT TODAY?????? PLEASE DRINK SOME WATER I HOPE YOURE EATING!!! THATS ALMOST 70K DUDE!!!!

Anyways I'm very normal about receiving this ask as you can tell, kisses to you holy crap

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

I'm a genius.

I decided to make myself poor man's chili because I wasn't feeling very well, and this is poor man's chili but meant for a mini rice cooker.

1 lb of ground turkey - brown it first

16 oz can of crushed tomatoes

1/2 of a 15 oz can of Kidney Beans

Spicy Montreal Steak Seasoning

Roasted Garlic & Herb Seasoning

Garlic Butter Seasoning

Just pour everything in, don't try to strain anything, and then let it cook for like an hour, and holy crap, it tastes really good. Like, despite meat and beans being in here, the broth is the best part. The fat cooked out of the turkey adds a lovely mix as well.

[feizon]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

warnings: none - !sfw

summary: y/n is a volleyball star who's teammate happens to be obsessed with a certain team's striker. For her friends birthday, she decides to get her a signed jersey but ends up trending because of a specific "encounter".

note: fem!reader x nagi seishiro / (f/v) = favorite vehicle / not proofread

'I can't believe I'm fucking doing this...'

Yet here I was, driving myself in my (F/V) to a football stadium which I swore I would never step foot in since the age of 12.

Despite my better judgement, I didn't really have a choice since I already had a #11 football jersey that need to be signed and a bought ticket which is probably worth my rent right now. I wish I was joking.

"Holy crap- there's barely any parking."

I step out of my vehicle with my (F/C) sweatshirt, sunglasses and black biker shorts as well as my (F/C) sneakers to match. My hood and sunglasses where on to hide as much of my identity as possible, the last thing I need was my face trending all over twitter about me going to a football stadium despite my open dislike for the sport.

I walk in, submit my ticket, enter the actual stadium and finally take my seat in the best row possible. The jersey was in my leather, black backpack which had a volley ball charm and random cartoon character keychains and stickers all over it from carnival prizes. I sit with my arms crossed as I wait for the players to make their entrance. A large cup of (F/D) and a bucket of popcorn by my side to numb my misery for the next 90 mins, it's not like I hate the sport with every fibre of my being, It's actually the fans. If you ask me basketball is definitely superior, second to volleyball, but that's not a conversation people will ever be ready to talk about.

The football players start to walk into he field as the stadium gets noisier by the second. People cheering and chanting as I simply sit down and munch on my buttered popcorn.

'Thank goodness that these people aren't in my line of vision.'

Amongst the teams fileing in, I notice a tall (like really tall) white haired man make their way onto the pitch. I lift my sunglass up slightly and narrow my eyes just to make sure I'm seeing things clearly. He has large gray eyes that you would expect to be full of expression but hold literally not a hint of interest in them. I look down at his uniform and notice the #11 written in large on the back of his jersey, my mouth drops as I realize that my friend might actually be on to something.

"He's actually beautiful, wtf."

I mumble low enough so no one else could here. I quickly snap out of my trance as the voices of the crowd screaming snap me back to reality. A sudden pit of nervousness could be felt in my stomach as my eyes continue to follow his every move. For a split second, I notice him looking towards my direction as I pull the drawstrings of my hoodie to hide myself from embarrassment.

'Ok.. so maybe this might be A LOT harder to do than I thought. Should of just bought a signed jersey on Amazon.'

The match finally ends with the screaming of fans from my side of the stadium as the counter finally hits 90:00. My mouth dropped, TO. THE. GROUND. As I try to process wtf just happened. A specific athlete managed to score the winning goal within the last 3 min, made 4 goals beforehand and manages to look as if what he did was normal. Anyone could tell that I was visibly shaking from all the adrenaline coursing through my veins simply by watching.

'THAT WAS SO- THAT WAS SO-'

I didn't know if it was my speechlessness or the running of a bunch of fans, trying to get a closer look at the winning team, that caused me to stutter so much. I blink a few times before I grab all my things and run just as quickly as them towards the same direction. The set up was like the one you would see in concerts, silver railing that reached just above my torso and many others to prevent fans from getting any closer.

I quickly grab the jersey from the safety of my backpack as I noticed a specific player about to enter my line of sight.

'I will get this signature, EVEN IF ITS KILLS ME!!'

But as if my motivation was some sort of sin, one of the many fans begins to constantly nudge me in the shoulder with her elbow as another does the same on the other side of where I stood. I lightly curse to myself as I begin to nudge them back. The nudging escalated until I was shoved forward harshly, causing the cheap railing to break, my hood and glasses falling off in the process as well. I close my eyes shut as I await to be greeted by the cold, hard floor. But to my surprise, (probably not yours lol) I don't. And it scares the shit out of me more.

I quickly cling to the piece of fabric shielding my face from a very toned chest as I feel a gentle set of arms wrap around my shoulders. I internally shudder at the sudden context as I mentally curse myself out, the grip on the jersey long gone as I finally find the courage to look up at the person who saved me from becoming the next meme of the month.

I'm met with a pair of gorgeous grey eyes, opened wide probably because of the sudden reveal of my identity or the quality of the railing.

'Kill me now.'

I give him a nervous close-eyed smile as his eyes casts over to the now wrinkled #11 jersey on the floor, his brows furrowed in the process.

"Haha, you wouldn't mind signing that right? It for a friend yk..."

@feizon